The writing needs work and some structure. Read some of the higher percentage stories and see how they make the story real. xxx18 The most valid subject that is missing is no insight into the second pregnancy of sister Mary, and the secrecy leading to or causing her to get pregnant the second time with someone other than her brother Sean!!! The story is too short, probably because details and descriptions are lacking in quantity and volume! The good news, the story context and theme is of fairly good quality. Why did she get pregnant the first time with her eight year old daughter Sarina Marie by someone else?? The story is too short, probably because details and descriptions are lacking in quantity and volume!
