11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2014-01-13 04:39:48really needs a rewrite and a good editing, your spelling needs work as does the plot. xxx 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2014-01-13 04:39:48really needs a rewrite and a good editing, your spelling needs work as does the plot. like most have said this was super rushed and needs to be two or three times longer with motre build up and details. like most have said this was super rushed and needs to be two or three times longer with motre build up and details. you give no background or character development it was just wham bam thankyou maam. Part two should stick with the daughter and maybe some action from both women.«123»




















