You have a LOT of mistakes. You have a LOT of mistakes. xxx First off-PARAGRAPHS! The lack of paragraphs, the switch from one tense to another,often withing two lines of text, all go to make it hard for the reader to appreciate the effort you have no doubt put in. Howvever, on a plus note, you do have an easy to read writing manner, that IF you formed into paras and spell checked and used the correct tense would probably manke a very readable story. Because of that, I too didn’t get to the end of your story. Also had problem breathing between paragraphs! You have a LOT of mistakes. And watch your “narrative tense”. Good luck whatever you decideREADERReport 2007-03-26 11:00:07You asked for it. . …
