Her father’s slid easily down the back of her throat and for some reason she loved the feeling of having her HAIR cut off by her daddy. 3 comments«1»chachachaReport 2013-10-20 11:52:50the narration of story switches from first to third person and from past to present tense. xxx18 Besides those things your story was pretty good!! Are you planning a series with this story? 3 comments«1»chachachaReport 2013-10-20 11:52:50the narration of story switches from first to third person and from past to present tense. You should read through it, aloud if that helps, before publishing, to see how these shifts in narration detract from the story. 3 comments«1»chachachaReport 2013-10-20 11:52:50the narration of story switches from first to third person and from past to present tense. The story doesn’t develop in any way that makes any sense.anonymous readerReport 2013-08-26 01:37:53In three places
