Break those paragraphs up so the eyes can rest. Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. xxx 18 Join a writing group and develop your talent.Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 04:01:23the switching of narrators is a bit hard to follow, but good storyvtsReport 2008-10-25 02:48:33more please, how about all three holes at once«1» You have a certain ability but you try to be clever. Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. Break those paragraphs up so the eyes can rest. 3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one POV. Break those paragraphs up so the eyes can rest. You have a certain ability but you try to be clever. and third, learn to write. 3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one
